Realizations on Death and Life

Death is an inevitable occurrence we all acknowledge. We know it happens, either in a natural or tragic way. But in whatever means, we are still left to deal with it, in varying degrees of shock and loneliness.

Shock and loneliness, the grief is something we are all familiar with. That’s why upon hearing of someone’s loss we rush and take time (out of our busy schedules) to attend a wake and pay our respects for the dead (through prayers and presence). For family members, both the immediate and extended ones, we attend because we stand as primary support system for one another; friends attend to offer condolences to family members, to stand as secondary support, offer more prayers and to testify to the greatness of that person’s life, and how that person has touched or influenced their life in different ways.

 In the process of dealing with the grief, and moving on to acceptance, we also realize some other things:

As we gather to pray and pay our respects we set aside our differences and misunderstandings 

 Every family member has their own moments of misunderstanding/conflict with each one. However, as we gather to pray for a family member’s soul, we set these aside; instead serve as support for each one. The death of a loved one can even serve as an instrument to mend broken relationships. We realize that no matter how big the conflicts are, we cannot change the fact that we are family, and at the end of it all, we turn to each other for support.

Wakes or funeral services gather family and friends together in one place 

Upon hearing of a loved one’s death, we immediately rush to the aide of other family members. We extend our concern and our help with immediate family members to ease their pain and let them know that we are here for them. But then again, let's not wait for a loved one's death for us to gather. This occurrence reminds us of the need to spend more moment with other family members at more positive and enjoyable moments of life.

The need to appreciate someone while the person is still alive 

 Let’s cherish the existence and worth of a person while he or she is still alive. To honor a person when he or she is already dead is still a good thing; for we let family members know that the person they loved has touched a great deal of lives. But that’s just it. There’s no way to bring that person’s life back. We won’t see his smile anymore, nor his reaction to our gratefulness.

 The realization of each other’s strength 

 It is on these moments that we see the strength of one another. We see how loved ones grieve, at the same time, cope with the pain. We see how family members are able to smile still, to bond and joke around; as well as to care for other members despite the loss.

Dead is both an end and a beginning

For the person who passed away, it is an end of an earthly life. As Christians we believe that he has left this world for a life in heaven together with the Lord, and other family members who have passed away. For the loved ones he or she has left behind, it is a start of a journey. Of coping with the loss, continuing life and dealing with things without the help of that loved one who passed away.  

We bid farewell to our Uncle Ding, the source of both laughter and “sakit ng ulo”. You have been such a dedicated family man, and you will be missed! Rest assured, though that we will take care of the family you have left behind. Prepare biko, sing your songs and play the piano in heaven, now for lolo and Uncle Bebeth 

To fly away

I have this urge to just get out. To simply walk away from all this madness and absurdity, where triviality rules, and drama seems to be the name of the game. But I'm not one to give in. For I'd rather be kept in one corner, reading a book . Or leave me with an internet connection and laptop, or a paper and pen, and I'm good.

* This illustration's a CD cover for Wickermoss' album way back 2005. I do not own this photo.

A Prayer

Dear God,

Tonight, I have spent lavishly for myself. Yes, I have enjoyed visiting places, and spending it with friends--laughing, chatting, eating out, shopping. But as I spent tonight's merrymaking, there's still this little guilt that stays in the heart, because I know that I may be feeling happy tonight, but somewhere out there, in the outskirts of the province of Cagayan de Oro and Iligan, there are people who have lost their loved ones--family members, friends, mentors, neighbors.

Before the tragedy happened, they were wishing, looking forward to spending the holidays with them, sharing happy moments, and bonding times with them.

But after that fateful night, as the storm lashed out, and raging waters came and washed away their little homes, the dreams, the hopes were shattered. Since then, they have known pain, suffering, heartache. It seemed difficult to them to accept what has just happened. A will of God? Nature's revenge? A bitter reminder of how we should take care of our waters and landscapes? What to do now? They might ask. What kind of hope or positive message/learning may come out of it? As of now, it seems vague.

But dear Lord, I know, I am miles away from them. Though I don't physically experience their loss, I can just imagine this heartache, this depression. It is expressed,somehow, in this little guilt.

I thank you for family and friends, Lord. With whom I am able to experience this happiness and joy. But hat I am asking for you right now, is to touch the hearts, minds, and bodies of those people affected by the recent Sendong tragedy. Nourish them, and fill their souls, their hearts with the hope to once again face life. To see a brighter day. Physically, give them the strength, as well as the basic necessities to shield them against the coldness of the surroundings, against all physical dangers that they will be encountering, as an effect Nature's tragic cry. Again, I ask you, for them to celebrate your birth, emerging and remaining strong and be able to look at the coming year in a better perspective.

What I'm asking from you Lord, may seem many. But this is not for me. This is not for my own pleasure or enjoyment, or even asking for what I lack. First and foremost, I am asking for you to touch the suffering hearts of these people with your healing hands. Because I know that you, alone have the biggest, miraculous power to heal the sick, the abandoned, and the less fortunate. Amen.


The Couples for Christ Global Missions Foundation, together with its family ministries are currently accepting donations for the families/victims of the Typhoon Sendong Tragedy in Cagayan de Oro and Iligan City. Cash donations may be deposited at its BPI Account No. 3103 3205 76 or at its PNB Account: 36999 38 000 22 with account name: Couples For Christ Global Mission Foundation Inc.

For donations in kind, you can drop them off at the its CFC Home Office at No. 156, 20th Ave. Cubao, Quezon City. For other inquiries, you can call them at (632) 709 4868 or (632) 709 4873.

Be blessed, and be a blessing! :)

Back to Blogging, and Now Renewed!

Yes, I seriously admit. It took me frigging 9 mos. before I'm able to post something for this blog. Pardon, pardon, pardon.

Anyway,time for some updates :)

The past 9 months had been both challenging, enlightening, and inspiring. I underwent certain struggles that tested my faith, character, and the ability to face difficulties. I won't further elaborate on these difficulties, though, but what is more worth telling are the positive changes, and the good things that came after the passage of storm.:)

It was in September when a chanced invite to join Singles For Christ (SFC) happened. I just attended mass at Santisimo Rosario Parish in UST, when one of its members handed me an SFC flyer,and on it was an invite to join the organization through undergoing its Christian Life Program (CLP).


I have just turned 26, a few weeks before this invite came. And during those weeks, I was already mulling, thinking about the things that has happened so far in my life. My early twenties had been fun! There were lots of partying, and hanging out with friends. There were dramas, too, and down times. And during those episodes, I tried to solve matters alone. Though I had my faith, I was also depending much on my own feelings for decisions, and grabbing my own wants for my life. This invite became that instrument to jumpstart the change I wanted to happen in my life.

And so, I committed myself to attending its CLP. For For 12 consecutive Saturday nights, I, together with about 60 individuals listened to speakers, and here, we relearned about our faith, renewed that love for God and others, and how it is to live in the Spirit, to live in a state of grace. Not long after, we graduated, and it started another adventurous journey, of now living in a more abundant path. By this, I mean a more adventurous road that consists of meeting people, of service, and knowing that one is able to be an instrument of change and love for others. It's far more better than all the alcohol, endless night socializing and partying, and spending time for one's own pleasure. The path to Christ is different than that, instead, it is a purposeful and meaningful one.

The "Lord's Day", the culmination of the 12 night CLPs was a time to get to know my batchmates more-- more time to know their personalities, their concerns, their talents, and dedication to serve.Here, we are able to witness each other's strength and weaknesses, as we go along, working with our presentations. It was a moment of camaraderie, and praising, thanking God that you are able to meet people whom you share your common goal and focus.







Now, as a certified member of the SFC community, together with my batchmates, we praise and thank God, for how wonderful it is to finally know a Him, or know him more, trudging a better path, and meeting inspiring people who walk along that path. It is a path, where faith is important. And moved by this faith, is the dedication to serve.




(photos from facebook-SFC WestB1B / SFCWestB1b-December 2011 Batch)

Saved from Failure

I started this day early. Had to leave house at 6am to chance upon one of our consultants who was supposed to have an interview at one of the major TV/radio networks based here in Manila.

I thought the interview won't push through this day since it was really difficult to contact him. He was based in Baguio, he doesn't own a cellphone nor bring a personal landline.

Not being able to push through with it seemed like a failure to me. I felt that I did not coordinate well. That I've failed to take care of things and settle them early. Some "should-haves" entered my mind.

"I should have been more responsible." "I should have prepared in advance", "I should have thought about this interview as a big deal", "I should have delegated work and asked for help"

At times like this, I turn to my self-help books. Specifically, i have a mini-book of quotes (lent to me a long time ago by a friend, and which I wasn't able to return, hehe) entitled "Successful and Satisfied"

It quotes one statement by William Ward who said:

"Failure should challenge us to new heights of accomplishments, not pull us to new new depths of despair. Failure is delay but not defeat. It is a temporary detour not a dead-end street."

True. Failure is a temporary state. And to get out of it one needs action. Failure is like a quicksand that can sink you further, not unless you think of ways to get out of it.

Nicolas Cage at the Sorcerer's Apprentice saved himself of a "persian quickrug" by clinging to a hanging chandelier. At other movies, a character seeks help from a companion to pull him out of it.

And what does this mean?:

Again, let me say that there are means to get out of failure. You just need to look for your resources, and you have to take action no matter what.

In the nick of time yesterday, I tried to look for ways to "hunt" for our consultant just in time for today's 7:30am radio interview. I emailed him to advice him that it may not push through (the network needed to know in advance who will be included in the interview, but since I failed to contact him, he wasn't able to make it on the show's line up)

"Pagbabaka-sakali".

Just in case he decides to open his email upon coming to Manila, I composed a message to him, telling him that it may be cancelled and that we have to set another scheduled guesting with another network.

I tried reaching the only number he has given to whom I can contact him--his aide's number. I have been trying to contact it the whole day, to which nobody answered.

I took my last shot at about 11pm, and luckily someone did answer the phone. I told the aide about the said cancellation. But our consultant was already in Manila, and she also has no way to contact him once in Manila.

I had no other way then, but to make "abang" in front of the station the next day, to see if he'll appear or not. It was a hit or miss thing.

Me and my partner agreed on a plan: If he does arrives, she will have to persuade the producer to include our consultant in the line up. If he does not arrive, then we'll have to schedule him at another time.

I arrived this morning to work out on my crisis. I actually felt dragged since it was a Sunday morning, and instead of showing up for this, I should have been resting at home.

But since I know it was part of my job (and that people will kill me if Im not able to deliver this well) I had to show up.

Surprisingly, our consultant arrived.

Our partner worked her charms out into telling that we have an additional interviewee, and luckily, they agreed:)

It was a blessing that the interview turned out well. It went smoothly this morning that there wasn't much of a tension or hassle made with the station, our partners(well, slightly because of the unexpected appearance of our consultant), and our consultant himself ( he actually felt persuasive during the interview).

This is one example of a saved failure. Sure, failure can whither your spirit for a time, but to save yourself from it, you have to take action. There is such a thing as crisis management. Aside from plan A, it doesn't hurt to have a plan B, a plan C, and a strong heart. Action is always needed in the face of a crisis/almost failure, and be able to move through it with grace:)

Of course, aside from action,belief at a higher being is equally important. That day, I believed that it wasn't only me who was working. My God was on my side. And if I'm able to act, he'll help me as well. (remember the saying: do your best, and God will do the rest?--well, that holds much truth)

Action, combined with belief that things will work out to your advantage saves you from total failure. And well, from being stuck in despair:)

Fan Girl, Fan Girl!

I have a recent review for the show Stand Up, a japanese drama comedy. Click here to read the full review.

Have recently watched "Stand Up", a 2003 japanese comedy drama that showed the life of five friends (four boys and a girl), and their adventures and struggles with teenhood. It's somehow a japanese version of American Pie. The four boys (named Shou-chan, Kouji, Udayan, and Kenken) were dead-set on having their first fuck that summer. They felt pressured as they felt that they were the last four virgin, 17-year-olds in their high school, at the same time they were struggling to get out of control from their parents who tried to shield them from having this first experience.

On the other hand, Chie, the only lady in the group visited the four boys in her old hometown, and with this, she witnessed the situation that the four boys were dealing with.

Chie also had her own monsters to conquer. She had to deal with standing up and finding her own ground, no matter what. It was with her friendship with the four boys that she began to find that grounding.

I really find the show cute. It's one feel-good flick that will laugh your hearts out! If you're looking for something stress relieving to watch at the end of a toxic and rough day, this show is one which I highly recommend!






In this photo:

from L-R: Kazunari Ninomiya, Hiroki Narimiya, Anne Suzuki, Shun Oguri, and Tomohisa Yamashita

Just some thoughts this Sunday

Last Friday, A friend told me that in order to be good (with the craft you're honing) you need to experience pain. Pain will teach you to be powerful, or if not, more bare and distinct in describing or putting out your emotions.

This made me realize that I haven't had enough pain. Or if not, I haven't learned to transform this pain into something powerful or more worthy.

So there. In the next few days, I'm going to try to use this pain, or be more quick in pointing out my pain and, hopefully, learn to use it to develop my craft...

***

Ok. So enough with that.

I have developed this obsession with Hiroshi Tamaki, the "Chiaki Senpai" from Nodame Cantabile.







This has brought out the fan girl in me. The last time I had been one was during the Meteor Garden craze, when I drooled over Jerry Yan and the rest of its cast.

I don't need to say anything more...but waaaaah....I really adore this guy:D