Just watched Reality Bites which starred Wynona Ryder and Ethan Hawke. The story depicted the life of a group of young people, who, after graduating from college, tried to make their own life by themselves. "People who try to create their lives, without looking up to somebdoy, without idols" as Lelaine (played by Ryder) told Michale (played by Ben Stiller)
Lelaine graduated at the top of her class in the University, and after graduating landed a job in a morning show in a media company. At the same time, she tried to make a documentary out of her friends and herself to show life after graduating, rying to capture the drama of young people struggling to live independently.
She tried very hard to show her own work to her boss, so that they can broadcast it. However, she failed to impress the boss who has been giving her the hard time.
She created a major booboo at work. She wrote obsene spiels at the cue cards for the show's host. This fired her from the job.
After that. she had difficulty getting a work related to her field. She lie lowed for a time--and living the life that Tony, her guy bestfriend , has been living--THE BUM"S LIFE
During this time, she realized the simplicity of things. She realized she has been ideal most of her life, trying hard to stick to the plan she has laid for her life.
At one time, she said, "things are not going on as planned"
*****
Tony Dyres, on the other hand (played by Ethan Hawke) has been contented with his life--having meager jobs, getting used to being sacked from the place he worked, and simply lived as if "money is just a green strip of paper which he seizes, and gets blown by the wind out of his hand easily"
He doesn't have a plan with his life. All he has for himself are his books that he read, and the guitar he plays.
This matter is always a point of argument between Lelaine and Tony.
*****
Michael Grates is the total opposite of Tony. He lead a busy life, used to the hectic schedule and works in a media company that produces a somehow reality show entitiled "In your Face TV".
He became Lelaine's boyfriend, and Tony's center of hate, jealousy and distaste to become Lelaine's love interest.
****
As all ordinary romance story, there is the involvenemt of a love triangle between Tony, Lelaine and Michael.
****
Lelaine has to deal with having the "planned life" she can create along with Michael, or the unsecure, "go-with-the-flow" lifestyle of Tony.
She chose Tony's life, and she has learned to live the life of simplicity.
****
ANother story that made me realize to slow down and just take life as it is. It has made me remember my all-time motto: "Ayos lang, agos lang"
and that, it's too early for me to feel pressured about my future and the life I'm planning to live.
Friday, September 28, 2007
loving the bum life
I haven't been going to work for the past three days. Why? I'm burned out...totally. I don't find meaning anymore in what I do. I do not take pride, even feel happy about coming to work and guess what, talk to people over the phone, most especially americans who just get irate on you, when in the first place I don't have anything to do with them and that I'm just doing my job.
I'm a journalism graduate, and right now, best thing that I want to do is to get, even a low-paying job and write. In the first place, that's what I have thoughtI'll be doing when I graduate.
I just had a job interview yesterday for a small magazine publication, and somehow, I impressed the h.r.
I still have another job interview, either on tuesday or wednesday, with the editorial assistant herself, whose position I will be fiiling in, if ever I get the job.
The h.r person offered me the position of editorial assistant.
It's one of the things I'm looking forward to because, it's going to be my first step in the writing career.
I'll be needing that for my CV someday, when I apply for a better company-publication or broadcast.
I just wish I get the job.
****
As I've said, I've been at home for three days straight. Just getting rest, and making up stories of me not feeling well to my supervisor. (ooopps...sorry)
I feel bad that I have to make up some lies of me being sick, but really, it won't be helpful if I drag myself to work when I'm not really in the zone for work...
Pushing myself to do that would mean pushing mysel to insanity, anger management, and guess what...more angst.
Right now, I'm here, figuring out a way to let both ends meet if I end the high paying job.
****
I'm thinking of developing a business with my money left. I'm thinking, it can somehow help me with my finances...well, mostly for the family once I decide to finally quit the job.
****
If ever I get the writing stint, I'll be havinga meager salary of 7k-10k a month, a lot less than what I've been getting from the call center.
My mom told me, "OK lang naman, the question is, kaya mo bang mabuhay sa gannong salary?"
My answer. (HOnest answer, actually) "OO naman, kaya ko...ang iniisip ko kayo!"
I already told one of my sisters that I would like to quit the call center job, and she went on ranting with me: "wala na naman tayong kakainin!"
It somehow, kind of pissed me off. Because in the first place, I am trying to help the family, but don't go on with me and depend as if it's my sole responsibility to keep you living!
I mean, where's the gratitude?
Anyway, just some rants.
****
By tomorrow morning, or rather, later in the eveing, I need to go to work early so that I won't have troubles of coming to work for my 4am shift tomorrow. I'll be sleeping in he office lounge.
And, tomorrow, I need to face the world once again.
I'm a journalism graduate, and right now, best thing that I want to do is to get, even a low-paying job and write. In the first place, that's what I have thoughtI'll be doing when I graduate.
I just had a job interview yesterday for a small magazine publication, and somehow, I impressed the h.r.
I still have another job interview, either on tuesday or wednesday, with the editorial assistant herself, whose position I will be fiiling in, if ever I get the job.
The h.r person offered me the position of editorial assistant.
It's one of the things I'm looking forward to because, it's going to be my first step in the writing career.
I'll be needing that for my CV someday, when I apply for a better company-publication or broadcast.
I just wish I get the job.
****
As I've said, I've been at home for three days straight. Just getting rest, and making up stories of me not feeling well to my supervisor. (ooopps...sorry)
I feel bad that I have to make up some lies of me being sick, but really, it won't be helpful if I drag myself to work when I'm not really in the zone for work...
Pushing myself to do that would mean pushing mysel to insanity, anger management, and guess what...more angst.
Right now, I'm here, figuring out a way to let both ends meet if I end the high paying job.
****
I'm thinking of developing a business with my money left. I'm thinking, it can somehow help me with my finances...well, mostly for the family once I decide to finally quit the job.
****
If ever I get the writing stint, I'll be havinga meager salary of 7k-10k a month, a lot less than what I've been getting from the call center.
My mom told me, "OK lang naman, the question is, kaya mo bang mabuhay sa gannong salary?"
My answer. (HOnest answer, actually) "OO naman, kaya ko...ang iniisip ko kayo!"
I already told one of my sisters that I would like to quit the call center job, and she went on ranting with me: "wala na naman tayong kakainin!"
It somehow, kind of pissed me off. Because in the first place, I am trying to help the family, but don't go on with me and depend as if it's my sole responsibility to keep you living!
I mean, where's the gratitude?
Anyway, just some rants.
****
By tomorrow morning, or rather, later in the eveing, I need to go to work early so that I won't have troubles of coming to work for my 4am shift tomorrow. I'll be sleeping in he office lounge.
And, tomorrow, I need to face the world once again.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
pinoy, ikaw ba to
This day is a blood-rising encounter with pinoy and how rude they can become!
Red tape, red tape...bureaucratic red tape! Clerks at the SSS office don't have an inch of a knowledge on how they can assist their members. Once you get there, it's already hard enduring long lines just to apply for a document you need, but WORSE is how clerks and government employees can treat you! This morning, I went to their office for like the fourth time this year to make a follow up, submitting needed documents on how I can apply for an SSS id. Now, I know for some, it's just an easy application wherein you have to wait for your turn to get assisted, submit documents, the employee checks if you have a current employment, or if you have been making contributions, and that's it, you breeze through on your way to taking your digital id picture.
But I have a different, temper-rising experience. After my graveyard shoft at the office today, I went to SSS early to apply for my ID. I went there at 7am, thiinking that by being early, I would be able to avoid the long line, and the possible hustle and bustle of people coming in and out of the office, take into consideration the late morning traffic. So there, I went, readied my documents: 2 ids, E-1 sss form that state my initial application for an SSS no. from last year, my birth certificate (one original and one photocopy) just so when clerks ask me to submit one right away, I already have them ready.
As expected, the clerk asked me that I have lacking documents, specifically my birth cert. and that my SSS application is on temporary status.
I told them that I have already submitted onelast year when I applied for a number. The clerk told me that it's not stated in their documents, and that if I really did submit, there should have been a check mark at the staement of requirements at the back of thepink SS no. form.
Me, since I was preventing myself from saying bad things, I simply exhaled, took in the realit of situation that this is how the government system works, and said, "tssk, tssk, tssk, grabe ang proseso ninyo dito"
I was hoping that it would make the clerk feel taken aback.
Guess what?, She did not.
My possible reason-well, they've been getting complaints from members almost all day, all the time, and getting one remark from one member who's been her first time to encounter government application processes (as she has been just a rookie in the employment/corporate/labor world), won't get to them.
In short, they have been used to it, manhid na sila!
and to just shout out my rant:SOBRANG MANHID NILA SAGAD TO THE BONES!
Unluckily, who can escape Philippine Bureaucratic Red tape?, I guess no one does.
I just wish they get a dose of their own medicine.
Or maybe not, they're used to the everyday hardships, pakapalan na lang ng mukha.
Well, this is the Philippines, and welcome to their world!!!!
****
For me, they should be able to assist their members, even the guards at the fron of the building before you enter the so-called floor of MAC (Membership Assistance Center)
How ironic, you cannot even feel an ounce of assistance coming from them!
Anyway, they should tell where you should line up, what documents you need, and what happens when you don't have the needed accounts, and not simply tell a member to go home and get the document she needs before she gets assisted.
I mean, what if the applicant lives in Bulacan, or Fairview even, and the person has to endure the traffic, morning heat/global warming, and pollution just to go to the office.
How inconsiderate.
Shame, shame, shame.
*****
Another encounter, I went home, feeling sleepy and tired from work and from going to the SSS office. I was about to buy 25-peso load from the sar-sari store in our neighborhood. I was calling out to the tindera, maybe I called her twice, and the tindera didn't respond right away.
Suddenly, I heard her ranting, "sandali lang, sandali lang, wag ka mashadong nagmamadali!"
(again, I felt my blood shooting out of me)
I told her with a pissed off face, "Ang gusto ko lang po sabihin, may kailangan lang dinkasi ako. Hindi ako nagmamadali!"
I should have told her, "teka, customer ako dito a. Sino ba dapat ang masusunod?"
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to tell her this in front of her face. I kept mum because I didn't want to cause a scene, or even shut her up with all the vulgar words I can find in my own vocabulary of cuss words.
I was still giving her a bit of respect.
but one of these times, God forbid me, but I will shout at her, or remark something that will make her realize that she needs to respect her customers. She needs to give us, customers respect, as a form of graitude for patronizing/buying her goods.
It's like, nagtitinda ka na nga lang, ikaw pa ang may balak magyabang!.
I mean no offense meant, to the sellers all over the country, I respect them for being hardworker (well, that is for some who value their work well). But there exist in our country who feel as if people owe them for being there. The work they do has gotten into their heads already and feel as if they are the one needed.
****
Not only do these people cause high-blood, bad temper, or even ruin your mood, but it feels sad too, because it is your kapwa-filipino who do these things to you.
In my form of work, it's hard already creating a head-to-head verbal, argumentative battle with irate, pissed off and depressed americans ranting about their debts, then you get the same amount of negative treatment from people of your same nationality.
And you receive the same effect. it pisses you off, it makes you want to scream, say cuss words and just wish that the person who offended you or stressed you ot will just receive their karma or dose of their own medicine in time.
There's no escaping the disrespect and rudeness, kano man o kapwa pinoy.
Red tape, red tape...bureaucratic red tape! Clerks at the SSS office don't have an inch of a knowledge on how they can assist their members. Once you get there, it's already hard enduring long lines just to apply for a document you need, but WORSE is how clerks and government employees can treat you! This morning, I went to their office for like the fourth time this year to make a follow up, submitting needed documents on how I can apply for an SSS id. Now, I know for some, it's just an easy application wherein you have to wait for your turn to get assisted, submit documents, the employee checks if you have a current employment, or if you have been making contributions, and that's it, you breeze through on your way to taking your digital id picture.
But I have a different, temper-rising experience. After my graveyard shoft at the office today, I went to SSS early to apply for my ID. I went there at 7am, thiinking that by being early, I would be able to avoid the long line, and the possible hustle and bustle of people coming in and out of the office, take into consideration the late morning traffic. So there, I went, readied my documents: 2 ids, E-1 sss form that state my initial application for an SSS no. from last year, my birth certificate (one original and one photocopy) just so when clerks ask me to submit one right away, I already have them ready.
As expected, the clerk asked me that I have lacking documents, specifically my birth cert. and that my SSS application is on temporary status.
I told them that I have already submitted onelast year when I applied for a number. The clerk told me that it's not stated in their documents, and that if I really did submit, there should have been a check mark at the staement of requirements at the back of thepink SS no. form.
Me, since I was preventing myself from saying bad things, I simply exhaled, took in the realit of situation that this is how the government system works, and said, "tssk, tssk, tssk, grabe ang proseso ninyo dito"
I was hoping that it would make the clerk feel taken aback.
Guess what?, She did not.
My possible reason-well, they've been getting complaints from members almost all day, all the time, and getting one remark from one member who's been her first time to encounter government application processes (as she has been just a rookie in the employment/corporate/labor world), won't get to them.
In short, they have been used to it, manhid na sila!
and to just shout out my rant:SOBRANG MANHID NILA SAGAD TO THE BONES!
Unluckily, who can escape Philippine Bureaucratic Red tape?, I guess no one does.
I just wish they get a dose of their own medicine.
Or maybe not, they're used to the everyday hardships, pakapalan na lang ng mukha.
Well, this is the Philippines, and welcome to their world!!!!
****
For me, they should be able to assist their members, even the guards at the fron of the building before you enter the so-called floor of MAC (Membership Assistance Center)
How ironic, you cannot even feel an ounce of assistance coming from them!
Anyway, they should tell where you should line up, what documents you need, and what happens when you don't have the needed accounts, and not simply tell a member to go home and get the document she needs before she gets assisted.
I mean, what if the applicant lives in Bulacan, or Fairview even, and the person has to endure the traffic, morning heat/global warming, and pollution just to go to the office.
How inconsiderate.
Shame, shame, shame.
*****
Another encounter, I went home, feeling sleepy and tired from work and from going to the SSS office. I was about to buy 25-peso load from the sar-sari store in our neighborhood. I was calling out to the tindera, maybe I called her twice, and the tindera didn't respond right away.
Suddenly, I heard her ranting, "sandali lang, sandali lang, wag ka mashadong nagmamadali!"
(again, I felt my blood shooting out of me)
I told her with a pissed off face, "Ang gusto ko lang po sabihin, may kailangan lang dinkasi ako. Hindi ako nagmamadali!"
I should have told her, "teka, customer ako dito a. Sino ba dapat ang masusunod?"
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to tell her this in front of her face. I kept mum because I didn't want to cause a scene, or even shut her up with all the vulgar words I can find in my own vocabulary of cuss words.
I was still giving her a bit of respect.
but one of these times, God forbid me, but I will shout at her, or remark something that will make her realize that she needs to respect her customers. She needs to give us, customers respect, as a form of graitude for patronizing/buying her goods.
It's like, nagtitinda ka na nga lang, ikaw pa ang may balak magyabang!.
I mean no offense meant, to the sellers all over the country, I respect them for being hardworker (well, that is for some who value their work well). But there exist in our country who feel as if people owe them for being there. The work they do has gotten into their heads already and feel as if they are the one needed.
****
Not only do these people cause high-blood, bad temper, or even ruin your mood, but it feels sad too, because it is your kapwa-filipino who do these things to you.
In my form of work, it's hard already creating a head-to-head verbal, argumentative battle with irate, pissed off and depressed americans ranting about their debts, then you get the same amount of negative treatment from people of your same nationality.
And you receive the same effect. it pisses you off, it makes you want to scream, say cuss words and just wish that the person who offended you or stressed you ot will just receive their karma or dose of their own medicine in time.
There's no escaping the disrespect and rudeness, kano man o kapwa pinoy.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
down with the flu
i am so down with the flu for three days now. Haven't realized that it will still hit me this bad, or rather, worse. I haven't been this too sick since...let me see, four years ago. Now, I realize that the reason for the sickness is none other than the big S......STRESS.
I've been sick since thursday night while I was in the office, trying very hard to hit quota. You see, I still needed 40,000 credits to do it, and eventually, make me eligible to get my bonus for the next month. Sadly, we had system/technical problems the whole shift. It gave me headache, thus too much pressure to hit my goals. Two hours before the shift ended, I decided to go straight to the clinic to rest. And besides, I didn't want to infect Abbey with my sickness, as it could be worse because she's pregnant.
My office buddies were already telling me that night that I was getting sick because of too much pressure I was giving to myself, and also because I went on a killer/double shift the previous day. (now, there's truth in what they say, THE KILLER SHIFT, it really kills your system!)
And because I hate it when people tell me, "I told you so", I asked them to just keep mum about it. I didn't want everyone to know that I've been "dying" to hit my goals, it'll just result to another bout of pangaral from my two boss.
I really wanted to hit quota, but then, there's still another month to work on it, but this time, I have to do it in a careful manner, and not risk my health just for it.
Now, I realize the truth that good health comes first above all.
****
When I was on my second year in college, I was sick for two weeks because I tried to finish a certain documentary for my then school org-TOMCAT. I was pressured to finish it for lots of reasons. First, because I was the Executive Producer for social docus, finishing a docu based on the set timetable is proof that I can make things work. Second, I needed to set an example for newbies on my team. Third, I wanted to prove something to my co-members/leaders of other teams. And fourth, I was afraid of getting shouted and get scolded in the face by our "Program/Traffic manager". (I can just remember what a terror she was back then)
Anyway, sadly, I wasn't able to finish it because two or three days to the end of our time timetable, I broke out. I was having the chills already. I was sent back home to Taytay by my mom who picked me up at the University.
That happened back in August as well,one or two weeks after my birthday.
I had my things from my then-apartment packed and sent home to Taytay. It appeared that living alone wasn't healthy for me.
****
Now, I reallize that it's stress that's getting in to me. It has always been my problem and main source of health breakdown. Thus, I have to take proper precautions. Careful not to overdo things. No matter how hard I try to do things perfectly, I guess I have limitations to think as well, and I can only be better as long as I don't give away my health on the line.
Now, I've really learned my lessons.
I've been sick since thursday night while I was in the office, trying very hard to hit quota. You see, I still needed 40,000 credits to do it, and eventually, make me eligible to get my bonus for the next month. Sadly, we had system/technical problems the whole shift. It gave me headache, thus too much pressure to hit my goals. Two hours before the shift ended, I decided to go straight to the clinic to rest. And besides, I didn't want to infect Abbey with my sickness, as it could be worse because she's pregnant.
My office buddies were already telling me that night that I was getting sick because of too much pressure I was giving to myself, and also because I went on a killer/double shift the previous day. (now, there's truth in what they say, THE KILLER SHIFT, it really kills your system!)
And because I hate it when people tell me, "I told you so", I asked them to just keep mum about it. I didn't want everyone to know that I've been "dying" to hit my goals, it'll just result to another bout of pangaral from my two boss.
I really wanted to hit quota, but then, there's still another month to work on it, but this time, I have to do it in a careful manner, and not risk my health just for it.
Now, I realize the truth that good health comes first above all.
****
When I was on my second year in college, I was sick for two weeks because I tried to finish a certain documentary for my then school org-TOMCAT. I was pressured to finish it for lots of reasons. First, because I was the Executive Producer for social docus, finishing a docu based on the set timetable is proof that I can make things work. Second, I needed to set an example for newbies on my team. Third, I wanted to prove something to my co-members/leaders of other teams. And fourth, I was afraid of getting shouted and get scolded in the face by our "Program/Traffic manager". (I can just remember what a terror she was back then)
Anyway, sadly, I wasn't able to finish it because two or three days to the end of our time timetable, I broke out. I was having the chills already. I was sent back home to Taytay by my mom who picked me up at the University.
That happened back in August as well,one or two weeks after my birthday.
I had my things from my then-apartment packed and sent home to Taytay. It appeared that living alone wasn't healthy for me.
****
Now, I reallize that it's stress that's getting in to me. It has always been my problem and main source of health breakdown. Thus, I have to take proper precautions. Careful not to overdo things. No matter how hard I try to do things perfectly, I guess I have limitations to think as well, and I can only be better as long as I don't give away my health on the line.
Now, I've really learned my lessons.
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