down with the flu

i am so down with the flu for three days now. Haven't realized that it will still hit me this bad, or rather, worse. I haven't been this too sick since...let me see, four years ago. Now, I realize that the reason for the sickness is none other than the big S......STRESS.

I've been sick since thursday night while I was in the office, trying very hard to hit quota. You see, I still needed 40,000 credits to do it, and eventually, make me eligible to get my bonus for the next month. Sadly, we had system/technical problems the whole shift. It gave me headache, thus too much pressure to hit my goals. Two hours before the shift ended, I decided to go straight to the clinic to rest. And besides, I didn't want to infect Abbey with my sickness, as it could be worse because she's pregnant.

My office buddies were already telling me that night that I was getting sick because of too much pressure I was giving to myself, and also because I went on a killer/double shift the previous day. (now, there's truth in what they say, THE KILLER SHIFT, it really kills your system!)

And because I hate it when people tell me, "I told you so", I asked them to just keep mum about it. I didn't want everyone to know that I've been "dying" to hit my goals, it'll just result to another bout of pangaral from my two boss.

I really wanted to hit quota, but then, there's still another month to work on it, but this time, I have to do it in a careful manner, and not risk my health just for it.

Now, I realize the truth that good health comes first above all.

****

When I was on my second year in college, I was sick for two weeks because I tried to finish a certain documentary for my then school org-TOMCAT. I was pressured to finish it for lots of reasons. First, because I was the Executive Producer for social docus, finishing a docu based on the set timetable is proof that I can make things work. Second, I needed to set an example for newbies on my team. Third, I wanted to prove something to my co-members/leaders of other teams. And fourth, I was afraid of getting shouted and get scolded in the face by our "Program/Traffic manager". (I can just remember what a terror she was back then)

Anyway, sadly, I wasn't able to finish it because two or three days to the end of our time timetable, I broke out. I was having the chills already. I was sent back home to Taytay by my mom who picked me up at the University.

That happened back in August as well,one or two weeks after my birthday.

I had my things from my then-apartment packed and sent home to Taytay. It appeared that living alone wasn't healthy for me.

****

Now, I reallize that it's stress that's getting in to me. It has always been my problem and main source of health breakdown. Thus, I have to take proper precautions. Careful not to overdo things. No matter how hard I try to do things perfectly, I guess I have limitations to think as well, and I can only be better as long as I don't give away my health on the line.

Now, I've really learned my lessons.