Shock and loneliness, the grief is something we are all familiar with. That’s why upon hearing of someone’s loss we rush and take time (out of our busy schedules) to attend a wake and pay our respects for the dead (through prayers and presence). For family members, both the immediate and extended ones, we attend because we stand as primary support system for one another; friends attend to offer condolences to family members, to stand as secondary support, offer more prayers and to testify to the greatness of that person’s life, and how that person has touched or influenced their life in different ways.
In the process of dealing with the grief, and moving on to acceptance, we also realize some other things:
As we gather to pray and pay our respects we set aside our differences and misunderstandings
Every family member has their own moments of misunderstanding/conflict with each one. However, as we gather to pray for a family member’s soul, we set these aside; instead serve as support for each one. The death of a loved one can even serve as an instrument to mend broken relationships. We realize that no matter how big the conflicts are, we cannot change the fact that we are family, and at the end of it all, we turn to each other for support.
Wakes or funeral services gather family and friends together in one place
Upon hearing of a loved one’s death, we immediately rush to the aide of other family members. We extend our concern and our help with immediate family members to ease their pain and let them know that we are here for them. But then again, let's not wait for a loved one's death for us to gather. This occurrence reminds us of the need to spend more moment with other family members at more positive and enjoyable moments of life.
The need to appreciate someone while the person is still alive
Let’s cherish the existence and worth of a person while he or she is still alive. To honor a person when he or she is already dead is still a good thing; for we let family members know that the person they loved has touched a great deal of lives. But that’s just it. There’s no way to bring that person’s life back. We won’t see his smile anymore, nor his reaction to our gratefulness.
The realization of each other’s strength
It is on these moments that we see the strength of one another. We see how loved ones grieve, at the same time, cope with the pain. We see how family members are able to smile still, to bond and joke around; as well as to care for other members despite the loss.
Dead is both an end and a beginning
For the person who passed away, it is an end of an earthly life. As Christians we believe that he has left this world for a life in heaven together with the Lord, and other family members who have passed away. For the loved ones he or she has left behind, it is a start of a journey. Of coping with the loss, continuing life and dealing with things without the help of that loved one who passed away.
We bid farewell to our Uncle Ding, the source of both laughter and “sakit ng ulo”. You have been such a dedicated family man, and you will be missed! Rest assured, though that we will take care of the family you have left behind. Prepare biko, sing your songs and play the piano in heaven, now for lolo and Uncle Bebeth
