just some thoughts

First story: Today, I fought the urge to feel tired and burned out once again. I woke up at 2am just to prepare myself to work and start the day. I fought back the negativity of feeling that I'll be doing the same thing all over again, just how my everyday work goes. It has already been a part of my system, an everyday workweek to come to work, take calls, collect useless american debts for me to have my paycheck every two weeks, (in a way, american debts are not as useless as it seems to me, as it "pays the rent"). As I've said, I've been working in a call center for almost a year. At first, everything seemed enjoyable: I get a high pay, there's take home money for the household bills, moolah for the gimiks, cash for my luxuries. It's a good life! But now, I'm feeling the burn-out. It is the kind of feeling wherein you think you are not productive anymore, you've been doing the same thing all over again, as if you are a mechanism with only one use, and that is to keep moving and moving at the same pace. You feel that you're getting more stupid and unintelligible as time go by, well, in the manner of learning new things, or of improving the skills you once have. I am a journalism graduate, I dream of doing writing for a living. But at this time that I'm spending my time taking phone calls each day, I feel that I'm losing the little writing skill that I have.
That's why I'm taking this time to write. Blogging gives me a chance to practice that skill once again. It is free-writing, not really that kind of writing wherein you have to conform with strict writing procedures. In a way, its' your own discretion if you still would like to conform to that. Anyway, it's a form of expressing your inner most thoughts.
I know that a job at a call center is a temporary one, and by doing my writing through blogging at my free, after-work hours will be a good help for me to bring my writing skills back!...I know it won't be for long. As to quote the religious, "this too shall pass!"

Second story: As I've been feeling the burn-out, I cannot help but feel cynical again about the everyday people I meet. In the confines of a call center, you meet different kinds of outspoken people. You meet the angst-driven types, the loud people, the silent type, the controlled behavior type, the passive type, and the leader type.
The angst drivens
Let me describe to you Tere, she graduated from one of the good universities in the metro. If not for the good pay, she might have been the advertising executive (with the model-type boy) working at good concepts for different advertisements, or events. An outspoken, she says what's on her mind, no matter how blunt, or sharp her criticisms may be. She lives by her principle that nobody can change her and "i'm-not-adjusting-to-your-lifestyle" kind of attitude. She's blunt in the sense that she will say right into your face if you don't look good, or if she doesn't like the kind of thinking you have. She knows what she wants, and she doesn't care if you like her or not, or if she has been too harsh on the people she's around with. Well, her attitude is not new, for a person who has been the "bunso" and only girl in the family.
Personally, she has been my big sister, as she tells me what's wrong with me, and how i should think of myself first before other people.


Then, there's Bryan. He may seem quiet and passive at times, but he can say the meanest bad word in tagalog when he mutes the phone when talking to an irate or confused american! One thing notciceable are his rebuttals when he's off discussing things such as "maam, as of now, you are not a customer, you are a debtor!", or when an american hears his "girl-like tone of voice", he goes, "no maam, I'm a boy!
But he can be jolly, and playful when he wants to destress, or when its "petiks" time. He's cute, with all his gurgles and baby-like gestures!


The Loud people
Kristin's voice can be heard from one end of the room, to another (well, that is an exaggeration, but her voice is really loud, no matter what happens, no matter where she is!) She laughs at the meanest or shallowest of jokes. She's the bully who will laugh at you and make fun of you. Bottom line is, she just loves to have fun. As she describes herself, "Deep inside, mababaw lang ako!" But don't think this girl doesn't have the brains, because she does. Amazingly, she's able to understand the process of the work we are doing. She's really a great help. She's a responsible girl who is able to take care of herself, her family, her boyfriend, and of course, her friends. Deo, his boyfriend is so lucky to have her!
Anyway, I consider Kristin as one of my reliable, sensible ate.


(I'm tired, think I'll continue this some other day...)